(Got this via email from a friend and decided to publish it here. Why don’t you join the band wagon and continue the story?)
TV sucks! I know its not the remote’s fault that there’s nothing to watch but throwing it across the room makes me feel better. Fine so no tv, what then, a book? I drag my weary body into the bedroom, crawl into bed, pull the covers around me and switch on the bedside lamp. Where is that book anyway, ah under my pillow. I snuggle up in the warm duvet and open the book on the bookmarked page.
Seven minutes later the book is on the floor. Aaah!I can’t concentrate long enough to read a whole paragraph; and since the book has many many paragraphs, I doubt I’ll ever finish it at this rate. Why why can’t I stop thinking about him? Ok, maybe I need a distraction. I should get out of the house. But where can I go at 11.30pm on a Thursday? Aha! The supermarket. So I get up, put on some sandals, grab my bag and head out the door.
Ten minutes later I’m walking into the supermarket. Question is, now that I’m actually here what do I buy? I just did my monthly shopping. Maybe I can pick up this month’s issue of Cosmo, yeah I’ll do that. And so even though the magazines are right next to the cashiers, I walk through ALL isles in the supermarket, surely there has to be at least one cute guy In here.
Dairy section, nothing, detergents, nothing either, alcohol, nothing? Even next to the beer? Really?! Ok let me try upstairs; hardware section, but what kind of guy would be buying a hammer at midnight, that wasn’t to be used as a weapon? Creepy. Back downstairs and finally, a cute guy! But wait, he’s buying diapers! Drat! And he was cute too. One last look through the dairy section, the staff must think I can’t read, there are signs everywhere. Then lo and behold (violins please) there he is, he’s tall, not too dark not too light, not too skinny not too big and there are no diapers in his trolley. Lets see what IS in his trolley. Apples, water melon (oooh I love water melon, see we’re meant for each other) cornflakes (boring but better boring than coco pops; or rice crispies, now that would just be gay) FHM magazine, a six pack of beer and he’s picking up a carton of eggs. Verdict… healthy eater, can read and a he’s a manly man. I can deal.
So now, to get his attention. I could ask for the time but a) there’s a huge-ass clock right there and b) I’m wearing a watch. Plus its so cliché! Drat! So what now, he’s moving away! I cant follow him around until I figure out what to say, he’ll think I’m psycho. Has he even seen me, at least I could smile if he looked my way but does he even know I’m there?
And then, my phone rings, and its that silly new ring tone I set this afternoon, ‘An idiot is calling, hallooooo an idiot is calling!’ It’s quiet around us so the ring tone sounds really loud. Who knew supermarkets had such good acoustics? He looks in my direction and smiles. I smile back pretending to be embarrassed as I pull phone out of my pocket. Its Mina, my best friend.
“Hi! You’re still up?” I say casually, when what I really want to say is “I love you, I love you, you’re a blessing from heaven!” Now, I had better make the most out of this Godsend. So I use the next three minutes of the conversation to do what most people take three hours of a first date to do, sell themselves.
Mina: I know it’s last minute but can you babysit on Saturday, I need to…
Who cares what she needs to do.
Me: Of course I’ll babysit, you know you can depend on me (I’m a good friend). Your kids and I have such a blast when we hang out (kids love me, I’m fun and lovable and can connect with my inner child). We can go watch Madagascar 2 or something. Just as well, I need to relax and have a good laugh .Its been a crazy week at work, the proposal we were working on was rejected in round one talks and my boss has asked me to sort it out. (But I’m not a child myself, I have a serious job with serious responsibilities)
Mina: Excellent! I can drop them off at your place around noon.
Me: No problem. When you come over could you bring that book I left at your place (I read) The Paul Coelho book, The Alchemist (deep, stuff too not silly Mills and Boons)
Mina: Didn’t you read that book like two years ago. Actually weren’t you complaining the other day you lent it to Mark and he lost it? Its not at my place.
Me: Super! And don’t forget to pick up your Prison Break DVD. I loved it by the way (I like rebels but only those with a cause). If you have season three bring it. Can’t get enough of Wentworth Miller. (I’m a red-blooded heterosexual female)
Mina: I didn’t lend you that DVD. You stopped watching Prison Break after season one. You said it didn’t make sense to call it Prison Break when they were no longer in prison.
Me: Saturday night? No, no plans yet. Will probably call Cathy or Wacera and we’ll go have a drink or something. (I’m single)
Mina: Wacera? Wacera is back from Capetown? I thought it was a six month course; it’s only been a month. Didn’t she like it there? What happened?
Me: Yeah speaking of my sister, I know I shouldn’t speak ill of my only sibling (small family, so limited family drama, and no brothers to intimidate you) but that girl works too hard. Pinned her down to lunch on Sunday, I’m cooking, want to join us?(I’m family oriented and domesticated)
Mina: You? Cook? Frankie what the hell is going on?
Me: Great! I’ll see you Saturday then. Tell the kids I cant wait to see them. Bye!
I hang up and toss the phone into my bag. The whole time I’d been on the phone cute guy had been hovering in front of the milk. Cant be that hard to decide, there’s only skimmed and regular. He likes me! Ok, so there’s semi-skimmed too but still!
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OK so what next, what does he do?
